EFFECTS OF OVER REACTION IN
RELATIONSHIPS AND WAY OUT
Does your wife/girlfriend scream,
yell or swear at you? Do you feel your wife/girlfriend is going emotional, controlling, officious, domineering or volatile? And your relationship is making you feel like you’re slowly going crazy? Do you feel like you’re persistently criticized because you’re not able to meet her desires and, feel powerless and overwhelmed because she puts you in no-win situations? And that you become hyper-
vigilant sometimes to any change in her mood or potential outburst, which leaves you in fear because you can’t predict her responses?
You’re left feeling dazed and confused; not knowing which end is up. If so, you’re probably involved with an emotionally obnoxious woman. This is highly stressful because it also requires
you to be hyper-vigilant and in a constant state of defense for incoming attacks, some women
are emotionally unstable and fly off the deep end all the time. Dr. Phil states, if handled with moderation and a keen eye toward a better future, arguments can
be healthy, so you’d best to learn how to get through them with minimal troubles. What we can simply do is to pretend that we
understand as to be just and to spare ourselves from dead end arguments or full thriving screaming matches. Or you can possibly have a time limit, allows your partner to retreat from an
outburst and then resume the argument with dignity.
There are more tips to deal with your emotional wife/girlfriend when she is upset, has mood swings, makes drama and acts irrationally.
There can be three situations for her emotional, ridiculous, bizarre and illogical behavior.
=Situation 1; when it is someone else’s fault:
– Whenever your wife/girlfriend is displeased,offended and losing control over her nerves then all she wants from you is unconditional acceptance, love, respect, security and protection, she wants someone to be there for her. So, sit near to her, make her feel that you’re present there just to keep her company, to calm her and to serene her soul so that she can communicate honestly, be herself, and feel emotionally safe.
-After assuring your presence for her the next step is to listen to her. Don’t just listen and vacantly stare at her but also say the words, “So then what happened?” or “And how did you feel when she said that?” and then repeat back what you think you heard. This is what we call “reflective listening.” But don’t interrupt her. Don’t cross your arms or act fidgety or act like you can’t wait to get away. You may have to practice it because mostly men are not used to actively listen without
simultaneously figuring out a solution to a woman’s problem while she’s still talking about it. When it seems like she is finished talking, tell her what you think she has just said to you using your own words which may seem superfluous but it will assure her that you really did listen to her and absorbed what she said. It is obvious that you cannot agree with someone completely. In fact, you can disagree all you want. But at that time don’t voice your disagreement. Men don’t understand that blowing a woman off when she’s upset makes the whole thing last longer and she’ll resent them for it and resentment builds up over time, which gradually diminishes the relationship.
– Third step is to make her realize that you are unhappy and appalling to hear about all that. You can say “Do you know how it makes me feel to know you’re so unhappy? It makes me feel awful!” This is a classic turn-the-tables phrase that can succeed in stalling a woman’s escalating emotional state, might result in her apologizing to you and win you a “back scratch”. Following these steps you can deal with such
sort of situation.
=Situations 2, when it is your fault:
– When your wife/girlfriend is upset or is crying or arguing with you perhaps you might have not attended to her, let her down, had crushed her soul or disappointed her then put on your most empathetic face whilst stroking her hair, and ask with as much concern in your voice as you possibly rustle up, “Oh my dear, why you are so upset?” And when she will reply you, you then need to respond with something along the lines of: ‘Ooh, wow, I didn’t even realize I was doing that (or not doing that). You know I would never do anything to intentionally upset you. don’t you know? I’m sorry, and I will try to make more
effort to do (or not to do), such and such in future.’ If you take this approach, your crying girlfriend problem should be resolved in no time.
– Make an apology, express regret and act contrite and it’s best to tell her what she wants to hear, and yes you do have to actually mean at least some of it. Don’t forget to listen to her.
Always remember that you have to listen in all situations either it’s yours fault, someone else’s or her own!
– Try to create feeling of trust with a woman. A woman will feel emotionally safe with a man who is emotionally available, straightforward, trustworthy and authentic. These are emotional
character strengths she can respect and admire in a man. A man of character and emotional
depth is a man who knows who he is and likes himself. His strength is not physical so much as it is in the clarity of his mind and emotions. These are character strengths that a woman not only have a high regard for, but feels safe with.
=Situations 3, when it is her own fault:
When your wife/girl friend had mood swings or don’t want to talk to you and you know that you are not the reason for that, there’s really only one way to deal with this one, simply let her know that you are ready to listen when she’s ready to talk.
– If she is throwing temper tantrum, going crazy, yelling and freaking out and you are unaware of the reason then the wisest thing to do is to wait till she’s calmed down and ignore the out of control behavior in the mean time. If your woman is a particularly feisty one, you can
leave the house for an hour or so, and then she can reflect on her behavior and with a bit of luck, when you return she will come running into your arms pleading for forgiveness.
– If you feel the urge to do something about this situation immediately, the best thing you can do instantly is to approach her with wide arms and whip out the hair stroking weapon. Then you can try to resolve the problem using the techniques described above.
– The most important thing to mention here is never call your wife/girlfriend “A Psycho”. There
are times when a woman will accept being called a nag and even accept that she’s being a bitch, but no woman ever wants to be called a psycho.
– Moreover, a woman feels protected if she believes the relationship is going somewhere. Obviously, she will behave rationally when she knows that her relationship is strong and will work out. Contrary to this, when it seems to her that there is no benefit of investing her time with someone and there might be a break up after getting emotionally invested in a man then she cannot control her nerves and will definitely go crazy because there will be a fear of losing someone special. It is correctly said:
– When a man is distant emotionally or physically from her it may bring up feelings of loneliness, or fear of a break up. Seeking this type of emotional safety can lead to emotional drama. So, to avoid her irrational acts, psychodrama and her unbearable mood swings you have to take the above mentioned steps
along, shower on her your care, affection, dwarmth, friendliness, tenderness and kindness.
Life is too short so instead of disagreeing and arguing enjoy your life and give your partner plenty of love and happiness! Thanks.
This piece is open to your constructive comments, criticisms, contributions etc via